Should You Bring Your Authentic Self to Work?
“Bring your whole self to work” sounds empowering. It can also be naive and, for many people, risky. Not everyone has the same access to authenticity. Some identities are rewarded when they show up fully. Others are policed, punished, or quietly sidelined.
The problem with the authenticity mantra
Authenticity creates anxiety for many because it is framed as a moral duty. Be authentic and brave, or you are performing. That frame ignores power. It ignores history. It ignores how workplaces reward some identities and constrain others.
A Black colleague who codes switches to be heard.
A woman who softens her voice to avoid being labelled aggressive.
A gay man who avoids mentioning his partner to keep things “professional.”
An accent that is read as less intelligent.
A disabled colleague who masks to be seen as “easy to work with.”
These are rational moves in systems that still attach value to some bodies, voices, and styles more than others.
A quick story
I remember wearing nail polish and noticing the reaction in corporate rooms. The same identity that was celebrated as “authentic” in some spaces was read as unprofessional or unserious in others. That calculation is constant: what version of me is safe here, and what will be punished?
Authenticity is not one thing
We talk about authenticity as if there is a single, fixed self. In reality, we hold multiple truths and roles. What is called “performing” is often simply managing risk. People do not fail authenticity. They respond to the rules of the room.
If you want a keynote or workshop that helps leaders move beyond slogans to build conditions where authenticity is safe and useful, I can help. Message me using the button at the end of this post.
What we should ask instead
The better question is not “Why are people not authentic?” It is “What in our culture makes authenticity costly for some and effortless for others?” Leaders create conditions. People make choices inside those conditions. Do not shame the choice. Fix the conditions.
When authenticity helps
There are real upsides when the culture holds: higher trust, engagement, innovation, and mental health. Your original post named these benefits, and they stand. The catch is they only show up when safety is real and consequences are managed.
A more honest idea: strategic authenticity
Think of authenticity as a practice, not a performance. The goal is congruence, not confession. Ask, “What is true for me, and what is wise for this context?” That is not being fake. That is reading power and protecting dignity.
For organisations and leaders: widen what is safe
1) Make safety a system, not a slogan
Define behavioural norms that protect dignity in meetings, feedback, and decision making.
Intervene on disrespect in the moment. The first silence teaches the rule.
2) Change what is rewarded
Stop rewarding polish over substance.
Recode “professional” to include diverse accents, styles, hair, clothing, and access needs.
Update dress codes and language guidelines to be inclusive by design.
3) Reduce the cost of difference
Structure meetings so more voices enter early.
Rotate visible work and stretch opportunities.
Use bias interruption tools in hiring and promotion.
4) Build leader skill
Train leaders to read the room, name power, and repair harm.
Ask leaders to model situational vulnerability without turning spaces into confessionals.
5) Measure what matters
Track psychological safety by team.
Track who speaks, who gets airtime, who gets follow up work, and who gets promoted.
For individuals: choose congruence, protect safety
1) Set boundaries: Decide what parts of self are not negotiable and what you can flex without harm.
2) Use strategic reveals: Share stories that align with purpose and audience, not to meet a vague demand for honesty.
4) Find or build your circle: Allies, mentors, and sponsors reduce the personal cost of authenticity.
5) Document patterns: If you are punished for reasonable self expression or access needs, gather evidence and escalate with support.
Where this lands
“Be authentic” is not a universal rule. It is a conditional invitation that only works when the system makes it safe. The work belongs to leaders and organisations first. Widen what counts as professional and acceptable. Then authenticity becomes less of a risk calculation and more of a real choice.
