How to 'Unlearn' My Unconscious Biases
Or better: how to interrupt bias and make better decisions
We often say we want to “unlearn” our unconscious biases. It sounds neat. It is also misleading. Bias is not a single belief you can delete. It is social coding learned over years. For many of us, it is lifelong work. Rather than promising unlearning, a more honest and useful approach is to learn how to notice bias, interrupt it, and increase the quality of data we use to decide.
What bias really is
Bias is a cognitive efficiency tool. It sorts people and ideas into buckets that feel safe, familiar, valuable, and likeable. That sorting is shaped by history, culture, family, media, school, faith, and power. It feels personal. It is not neutral. Read more about bias here.
Why “unlearn” is the wrong first move
Telling people to unlearn can sound like “erase your past.” Most cannot. A stronger move is to build new reflexes that can run alongside the old ones. Think of it as upgrading the operating system rather than pretending the old code never existed.
The Interrupt Model: Notice, Name, Neutralise, Nudge
1) Notice the trigger
Bias shows up fastest when stakes feel high, time is short, or emotions spike. Look for telltale thoughts:
“I just have a feeling about this person.”
“Not sure they are a culture fit.”
“People like us do it this way.”
Micro drill: pause for 10 seconds. Ask, “What feels safe, familiar, valuable, or likeable to me right now, and why?”
2) Name the pattern
Put language to the reflex without shaming yourself.
“I am favouring confidence over competence.”
“I am assuming ‘polished English’ equals leadership.”
“I am reading disability through a deficit lens.”
Naming creates a gap between the reflex and the response.
Looking for a speaker who helps teams rethink language, inclusion, and culture in powerful, real ways? Learn more about my keynotes on unconscious bias, psychological safety and more here.
3) Neutralise with better data
Do not argue with the bias. Feed the decision with more facts.
Swap “culture fit” for defined criteria and evidence.
Ask for a work sample or scenario rather than relying on vibe.
Seek a second rater from a different background.
Example: If I hold the belief that disabled people cannot have happy partnerships, treat it as a hypothesis, not a truth. Go find real stories, data, and voices that broaden the picture. Build a more centred position, then decide.
4) Nudge the context
Change the environment so better decisions become easier.
Structure interviews with the same questions for all.
Use diverse panels.
Remove names and schools where possible.
Set a rule to justify any “gut feel” with evidence in writing.
Increase inputs. Upgrade the algorithm.
If bias is trained by what we repeatedly see, then we must see more.
Change your media diet. Follow creators, leaders, and thinkers beyond your usual circle.
Expand your sources. Add journals, podcasts, and platforms that feature underrepresented voices.
Broaden proximity. Spend time in communities and teams where you are not the default.
Memory builds preference. Feed your memory new material.
Practical tools you can use today
The two-column check
Column 1: my reasons for this decision.
Column 2: which reason maps to safe, familiar, valuable, likeable. If Column 2 is doing all the work, you need more data.
The evidence sentence
“I prefer Candidate A because of X, supported by Y example, observed on Z date.”
If you cannot complete that sentence, you are deciding on vibe.
The bias interruption script
“I might be relying on comfort rather than criteria. Can we slow down and check the evidence?”
“I am hearing ‘culture fit’. Which behaviours are we pointing to?”
“Let us test this view. What data would change your mind?”
The two-minute reflection
After a meeting, ask:
Who did I assume was safe or risky, and why?
What data did I ignore because it felt unfamiliar?
What will I try differently next time?
What success looks like
Do not aim for purity. Aim for progress. Success is a decision that is more evidence based than last time, a meeting where more voices were heard, a hire or promotion that holds up under scrutiny. Over time, these choices shift culture.
A final word on “unlearning”
You may never fully unlearn your early programming. That is fine. Own your socialisation. Build new habits. Practice until the new path becomes familiar. The work is less about becoming bias free and more about becoming bias aware and decision fit.
Happy practising.
